2011: Summer of the Psychos

That's right....I'm declaring this summer to be "Summer of the Psychos"! Apparently, I attract the weirdos, and they think I want to know their life stories! 

A few weeks ago, my friend Lili came over one Saturday afternoon and we went to the apartment pool for a couple of hours, and then were going to go to dinner. While we were at the pool, this guy had invited us to join him and his friends at the opposite end of the pool to drink beer and hang out with them. We politely declined, and he went on about his business. Then he came back about a half hour later (after downing a few more beers - as indicated by his very slurred speech) and started asking us why we were being so antisocial. After we explained that we were not single and not interested in making new friends with him and his buddies he started talking about a friend of his who was killed at the Mexican border, how guilty he felt about that, he was going to  psychiatrist and given meds, which helped, but the meds caused him "problems in the bedroom" (those were not his words - his words were much cruder, but I'm not putting them on my blog). Then he was talking about his strained relationship with his mother, blah, blah, blah. This dude talked to us for a good half hour, and trust me - we were not being polite to him, so we finally just walked away. 

Today, I was coming home after spending the afternoon at the Hutchisons' pool, and stopped at the mailboxes to check our mail. When I pulled up to the mailboxes a red flag immediately went up. There was an older guy (like mid-50's) standing in front of a mailbox not really moving or looking like he was trying to get his mail and he was wearing a button up Coca Cola shirt and Dr. Pepper pajama pants - so he already looked...interesting. But I try not to judge. However, the red flag was up so I actually took my keys out of the ignition and locked the door (normally I leave the car running and the doors open). So I quickly get my mail from my mailbox (which is rather close to his) and he suddenly shouts "This sucks! Do you want to know what sucks?" In my head, I'm thinking: no. But out of my mouth comes "What?" And he proceeds to tell me that he got pulled over in Allen by the police twice yesterday even though he owns the Allen police department (really??? you own the p.d. and they pulled you over??) and a ghetto pimp tried to rip him off. He then continued to say that he would tell me his whole life story because he was a former Marine and his ghetto Mexican wife (his exact words...no offense to anyone!) just left him and he didn't blame her for leaving him, but she was beautiful and he wanted to show me a picture. While he was telling me this, I was just inching closer and closer to my car. I was only standing outside with him for about 2 minutes, but when he started talking about his wife, I said "I'm sorry, but I'm in a big hurry", and he said "Everybody's in a big hurry! Can you at least come back and help me get my key out of my box - it's stuck" and I was almost to my car and shouted back "go tell the office and they'll get a maintenance person to fix it" and his reply "I have no kneecaps I can't walk to the office-" and I was in my car with the doors locked before he finished his sentence! I was actually scared of him! My heart was racing when I got in the car because he was off his rocker! The pool perv just irritated me, but this guy really kind of creeped me out. Urrrgghh....why do the crazies flock to me??