I Gave It My Best Shot

I struggled with the idea of actually posting this or not because the topic can get controversial, but then I decided that it's all family and friends who read my blog (as far as I know...maybe the occasional stranger stumbles upon this), so I think everyone will be supportive, and I'm 'fessing up.

Audrey is no longer a breastfed baby. We have switched to exclusively formula feeding her. There. I admitted it. :)

When Audrey was born she weighed 7 lbs. 2 oz. When we were discharged from the hospital she weighed 6 lbs. 10 oz. When we went to the pediatrician the next day she was down to 6 lbs. 6 oz. Our pediatrician suggested that we do a supplemental formula feeding once a day until my milk came in. We continued doing a supplemental formula feeding once a night and I would pump so that my milk supply wouldn't suffer. Audrey is a very content baby, and I could breastfeed her every 3 hours during the day and she stayed content between feedings. She would nap well and she made plenty of wet and dirty diapers so I thought everything was great. We went for her 2-week check-up earlier this week, and not only had she not gained weight she actually lost weight! Michel and I were both a bit shocked by this, and stressed. Our pediatrician asked us that I breastfeed her, then offer her a bottle of formula to see if she's not getting full from the breast milk. Her theory was if Audrey had eaten what she wanted of breast milk (I fed her until she pulled herself off, or I would pull her off if I noticed she wasn't actually drinking anymore, but just pacifying instead), and then was offered formula she would refuse the bottle. If she wasn't full, Audrey would drink the formula. I was also told to pump after that to keep my supply up. That day, we did exactly what the pediatrician asked. We were beyond exhausted by the end of the day. On top of that, the more formula we offered Audrey the less time she stayed on the breast. Her first feeding was a normal 30-45 minute feeding. She took in quite a bit of formula (about 1.5-2 oz.). Her second feeding she only stayed on the breast for about 10 minutes a side and again ate about 1.5-2 oz. of formula. The rest of the night she only breastfed for about 5 minutes a side, but would drink about 2 oz. of formula. When I pumped, I was only pumping out about 1/4-1/2 oz. of breast milk between the two breasts!!! I had pumped before and had gotten as much as a full ounce, but have never been able to pump more than an ounce (and I was only able to get an ounce out when I didn't breast feed her first). So after a night of tears, anxiety, and virtually no sleep Michel and I came to the conclusion that I was going to stop breastfeeding her, and we would go to formula.

Maybe some people reading this are thinking that I didn't try hard enough to make it work. I feel like I did; maybe I didn't. However, since switching to formula I have a much less fussy baby (she pretty much fussed all evening from 5ish until 9 or 10ish and cluster fed - the poor thing was just starving), and I'm much less stressed! I love the idea of breast feeding, and am so happy for the people who can make it work. The truth of the matter is my baby wasn't growing like she should have been off of breast milk. When we went back to the pediatrician today we were told that she needed to have gained an ounce per day (3 oz. total from Tuesday to today). She weighed 6 lbs. 5 oz on Tuesday and we were hoping to see her weigh 6 lbs. 8 oz. today. We put her on the scale and she weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz.!!! She gained 7 1/2 ounces from Tuesday - over twice as much as we were hoping for! Michel and I were so thrilled to see that number on the scale! It kind of the reassurance that we needed to know that we are making the right decision. I told our pediatrician today that we had cut out breast milk due to low supply issues, and she totally understood, and said that her boys were formula fed babies and were just fine. She also reassured us that she sees kids come in who are breast fed and formula fed and there's not that much difference in which babies get sick more often. She also said that breast feeding, even for just a couple of weeks, still gives Audrey some antibodies and added health benefits.

There are definite pros and cons to formula feeding, but the biggest pro is that it's helping my baby grow and thrive like she should be!! I also can eat, drink, or take any medication I need to and not worry about how it will affect Audrey. The biggest con about formula feeding is the price. Michel and I already decided that the price of formula is not nearly as important as knowing that Audrey is getting the nutrition that she needs.

We love our baby girl, and are just trying to do what we think is best for her! I'm just glad to see her growing now :)